Monday, August 30, 2010

Remembering today

Today I am remembering back just a few years (I won't say how many) when my first child was born.

I think mothers are blessed with a special kind of memory. I can remember details and exact moments of my child's birth that even bring back sounds and scents.

It was a relatively short labor of four hours, but a difficult delivery through a birth canal that was too small. I was given anesthesia and the baby arrived with the help of forceps.

As I slowly awoke in the recovery room, I had no knowledge of the outcome of the birth, only that it was over. I was shivering and the nurse put blankets on me from a warmer. It felt so good.

The nurse had a soothing voice, but she stuttered painfully. A sweet and competent nurse, it was interesting to observe that she didn't stutter at all around her co-workers with whom she must have felt more comfortable. But approaching a patient, the stuttering ensued.

She waited until she was sure I was aware enough to receive the news:

Y-y-y-y-ou ha-ha-ha-ha-ve a b-b-b-aby g-g-g-g-irl!"

And thus, I learned that I had a daughter.

My baby daughter had the most wonderful scent. How do you describe the unique scent of a baby? I loved to nuzzle her right by her tiny face. I was in total awe as I held her, listening to her breathing, sucking, making funny noises and looking all around, but not at me.

She couldn't yet return my look of pure wonder and love. But I like to think she somehow absorbed it. Like there was instantly a special kind of communication between mother and daughter.

She had jet-black hair, and it stuck straight up. Her father and I are fair-skinned with light hair, so her black hair was a surprise.

We named her Kristie Lynn.

The years that have passed since that day are many. But I look at her today with the same wonder and love. I'm not sure she sees it but maybe, somehow, it is communicated all the same in that same special way, between mother and daughter.

Now she is a grown-up daughter with two daughters of her own, and a granddaughter. I am proud of her for who she is.

As it was a marvel to look at her as a baby, it is a marvel to see her as a woman today.

Happy Birthday, Kristie!