So, where do I go from here?
Donna Ashworth, the author of so many of the writings that have spoken to me through the last 16 months, reminds me that I might just as well make friends with grief and carry her with me. And it’s getting to be more okay as time goes on. I was told early on, when my heart and soul felt raw, that the edges of that pain would soften but I didn’t believe it for one moment. It is a paralyzing feeling that you can’t envision ever changing.
But it does. Those raw edges do soften. And when that starts to happen, you know you won’t be swallowed up in the abyss and life has been waiting for you.
And you start to live again.
My son and daughter-in-law invited and treated me to a ten-day trip to the island of Maui last spring. The beauty of the island and the time spent with them, which included my two granddaughters, was the balm my soul needed. I saw that there was joy, laughter, delight and love all around me. I am so grateful to them for their generous gift. A life’s surprise for sure.
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| Younger granddaughter in awe of the big turtle. |
And now, I write this from Arizona where I am spending another winter season. Thinking after I sold our park model here last spring, that would be the end of my Arizona winters, my neighbor, 89 years old, a snowbird from South Dakota, had a nasty fall resulting in a broken hip. She and her family members thought perhaps she shouldn’t be staying here alone anymore. The thought of spending winters in South Dakota where she couldn’t be active and get out to walk was a dismal prospect for her.
Enter me.
“Why, I could come stay with you,” I piped up during a visit. And just like that a plan was formed and here I am, back on J Street, right here in Mesa, Arizona, with my familiar neighbors. Another one of life’s surprises for me to enjoy.
And surprises just continue to come, the more I notice and welcome them in. I’m amazed at what life unfolds for me.
I hope the same is true for you.
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| Older granddaughter in awe of the ocean. |
