Monday, Monday

 Ah, back to Monday again. How does a week go so fast?

And this looks like another busy one. They say time goes faster for the elderly. They also say you’re busier after retirement than when you were working. Both are true. I’m not elderly but I certainly am busier. I can pack a lot into a day.

And I love checklists. They keep me focused and, well, driven. OCD? That’s me. 

Besides that, it’s such a feeling of accomplishment when you check off something on the list. And if you forget to add something you’ve already done, by all means add it to the list, simply because now you can check it off. 

I had a therapist once (yep, everyone needs one) tell me, addressing my obsession with to-do lists at work, to not look at it as an absolute, must-get-through-all-this-today or else, but to think of it as a menu. One where you select items, one at a time, to accomplish.

It was good advice. It makes it much more pleasant to go about your tasks as you’ve chosen what to do. And some things can wait and some simply don’t need to be done at all!

What’s on my checklist/menu for today?

Bake cupcakes. It rhymes with Monday.

Thanks for the visit today and for reading my ramblings. 

Here comes the sun

 

I woke this morning to sunshine streaming through the windows. 

Which pretty much tells you I wasn’t up at the crack of dawn. More like the crack of 9.  My Facebook friends post beautiful photos of the morning sunrise and I thank them because it’s the only way I’ll ever see that early morning phenomenon.

Anyway, it was wonderful to see that sunshine after the past several days of rain and cloud cover. Funny how it changes one’s mood and increases the energy level. I still love rainy days but there comes a point where I’ve had enough. 

So during the rainy days, I finished the church newsletter, caught up on the laundry, baked a big batch of bran muffins (recipe below) and did my share of relaxing.

I’ve been going through my roommate’s filing system. Actually, there was no system, just a lot of papers in folders going back to the beginning of time in no particular order. She and I carefully looked them over, filled a garbage bag and she advised me what file the surviving paperwork should go in for easy access.

She had hanging folders but no plastic tabs, so a trip to OfficeMax remedied that and I made labels with my handy-dandy Brother label maker. I bet you didn’t know my nickname is Label Queen. I label everything. When I labeled the refrigerator shelves (milk, the cheese drawer, vegetable crisper, deli shelf and leftover stuff shelf), my husband declared it “over the top” and just shook his head. 

Really? Do you think so? Can’t be too organized, I always say.

Here is the recipe for the bran muffins. Grab a BIG mixing bowl and remember, this mixture can be refrigerated for six weeks. But be sure to label them so you know the date you made them. 

And thanks for reading my random thoughts. You can also join as a Follower. You don’t get a discount but it’s nice for me. heehee

Rainy days and Mondays

Listening to the sound of rain falling on the roof of a park model is wonderful. The sound is magnified in these units with little separating them from the outdoors. The streets will be like rivers with rain predicted to last through the night, all day tomorrow and into the morning of the next day.

I say bring it on. ☔️ 

I love rainy days. I love thunderstorms even more. Wind, thunder, lightening—the more dramatic, the better. This is assuming I have the luxury of staying indoors, of course. But a rainy day is like permission - to bake cookies, to read that book I started, to do a bit of organizing, maybe go through a closet or two, stitch a sampler. The possibilities are endless. A rainy day is like a gift.

But there is a limit to my enjoyment. After a couple of days, cabin fever sets in and I’m ready for the sun to shine again.

I write this from Arizona but I feel the same about a snow storm—make that a blizzard—in Minnesota. 

There’s nothing better than watching the snow cover the ground as it starts to fall, then seeing it develop into mounds of snow; getting higher and higher until all you see is white. This is also assuming you have the luxury of staying indoors with no other place you need to be. Not that you can even go anywhere because your car is now buried in the snow, you can no longer see the driveway, the snow has drifted to your front door and you can’t open it, and you don’t see the point in clearing it because it’s still snowing. And you have nowhere else you need to be. Ahhh, all making for a cozy day. 

But, here in Arizona, the rain continues to fall, a hypnotizing sound on the roof, lulling me into an afternoon nap. And I forget about all the things I had permission to do. Cookies? Cleaning a closet? Organizing? 

Not today.

Thank you, as always, for reading my random thoughts.

News from abroad

I recently heard from my cousin in Denmark, telling me details of their new king. I saw news of this on television, but my cousin could elaborate as her grandson is a Royal Guard and was a close and important part of the celebration.  He described it as an overwhelming experience. Wearing his red gala uniform, he stood just below the balcony where the announcement was made.

Queen Margarethe announced her abdication of the throne and her intention to hand it over to her son, Frederik, the first time ever in Denmark that a king or queen has abdicated before death. People were shocked at this news as she has been a very popular queen for 52 years, since 1972 when her father died. It was reported that health problems contributed to her decision.

The official abdication of the Queen and the hand over to King Frederik the10th took place in the Danish Parliament Christiansborg, very close to the Royal Palace Amalienborg. The royal family traveled to and from in horse-drawn carriages. Over 300,000 people waving small Danish flags packed the streets, showing how popular the former Queen Margrethe and King Frederik and his wife Mary are with the Danish population.

King Frederik the10th

Frederik and his wife Mary (from Australia)

This all sounds very lovely with the Danish population so involved and so excited about this national event. But it speaks to me of a very sharp and distinguishable contrast between their country and ours. 

When was the last time we saw 300,000 people pack the streets of our capitol waving U.S. flags? Well, I recall January 6, 2022 and it wasn't pretty. I recall other times as well, equally not pretty. Riots, demonstrations, corruption, divisions of all kinds are what we seem to be showing the world. That is the news they get. We need to be able to hold our heads up because right now we are a shameful embarrassment. 

How do we turn this around? Maybe we need a king or queen? Maybe we shouldn't be electing our leadership? I don't know. 

All I do know for sure is that our country and we as individuals need to put our best face forward, stop the political squabbling, all of us, remember the word r-e-s-p-e-c-t and practice it. Each of us. Every. single. day. Call me Pollyanna.

This is not a political post for the right, for the left or otherwise because I will never get into that here on this blog. It's just a wishful desire to see good, peaceful and celebratory news dominate our news headlines. That's all.

Thanks to cousin Hanne for her news from Denmark. We celebrate with them.

And, once again, thanks for reading my random words. 

Moving on

So, where do I go from here?

Donna Ashworth, the author of so many of the writings that have spoken to me through the last 16 months, reminds me that I might just as well make friends with grief and carry her with me. And it’s getting to be more okay as time goes on. I was told early on, when my heart and soul felt raw, that the edges of that pain would soften but I didn’t believe it for one moment. It is a paralyzing feeling that you can’t envision ever changing.

But it does. Those raw edges do soften. And when that starts to happen, you know you won’t be swallowed up in the abyss and life has been waiting for you.

And you start to live again.

My son and daughter-in-law invited and treated me to a ten-day trip to the island of Maui last spring. The beauty of the island and the time spent with them, which included my two granddaughters, was the balm my soul needed. I saw that there was joy, laughter, delight and love all around me. I am so grateful to them for their generous gift. A life’s surprise for sure.

Younger granddaughter in awe of the big turtle.

And now, I write this from Arizona where I am spending another winter season. Thinking after I sold our park model here last spring, that would be the end of my Arizona winters, my neighbor, 89 years old, a snowbird from South Dakota, had a nasty fall resulting in a broken hip. She and her family members thought perhaps she shouldn’t be staying here alone anymore. The thought of spending winters in South Dakota where she couldn’t be active and get out to walk was a dismal prospect for her.

Enter me.

“Why, I could come stay with you,” I piped up during a visit. And just like that a plan was formed and here I am, back on J Street, right here in Mesa, Arizona, with my familiar neighbors. Another one of life’s surprises for me to enjoy.

And surprises just continue to come, the more I notice and welcome them in. I’m amazed at what life unfolds for me. 

I hope the same is true for you.

Older granddaughter in awe of the ocean.

 Thank you, God. Your mercies are new every day. 

Catching up, part 2

So today I’ll try to stay on task and post a few updates about my new life as a single (widow—but I hate that word). Much has changed and I have been doing my best to adjust to my “new normal.” I didn’t ask for it, I don’t always like it, but here I am. 

Making lemonade out of lemons. 🍋  Or trying to.

When you lose a spouse, and after the initial shock, the funeral, burial or whatever you choose, a whole array of new decisions or possibilities present themselves. Ones I certainly never had to consider before, and certainly not by myself. Am I now financially secure? Can I continue my health insurance under my husband’s plan? Should I keep or sell our Arizona home? How do I decide which of our two vehicles to keep and how do I go about selling the other one? Should I remain in our North Lindstrom lake condo or try to find someplace that might better fit my own needs?

Not to mention the admonition to not make any major decisions for a year. So, what, does that mean I do nothing and keep everything as is for a whole year? That doesn’t work for me, a take-charge person. So I started tackling those decisions one by one.

1. Since the time was approaching for me to leave for our winter home in Arizona, I decided that—by myself—I wouldn’t be able to maintain nor could I afford two residences. Sad as it seemed to leave our wonderful seasonal neighbors, the thought of being there where we shared so much enjoyment together helped inform the decision to sell it. And it sold to the first person to look at it and the price was satisfactory.

2. My health insurance was fine for the time being and I would take the time to research other options.

3. My financial situation was adequate. Never rich, neither was I poor and I could cover routine expenses.

4. I didn’t need two vehicles. I kept the newer, better quality of the two and sold the other. 

5. Now for the big decision. I chose to—praying and holding my breath that this was right—sell the Lindstrom condo. Again, it sold quickly and I was satisfied with the price. I bought a 2-bedroom unit in a cooperative in nearby Chisago City, a mere two miles away. It offered all that was right for my needs with no maintenance, heated underground parking, an exercise room, a community room for gatherings, a large deck overlooking woods and beautiful grounds on a quiet street. 

The decision was the easy part. Moving, choosing some new furnishings, a major update of the kitchen, packing and unpacking that seemed to go on forever and ever, made for a busy summer. I could in no way have done any of this without many hours of help from my two kids, granddaughters and sister. Without them, I likely would still be frozen in place.

That catches you up a bit to present day. I am doing quite well (most days), feeling strong and confident in my decisions without my beloved, living each day with gratitude and looking forward to the next new day. Still lots of tears, sweet remembrances and some loneliness, but everything always looks better in the morning.

A closing thought to remember:

As always, thanks for visiting and listening to my random thoughts.



Back again and catching up

Hello, dear ones!

Here I am again, back to Cranberry Tree after an absence of a year and a half. However does one catch up after that long?

Well, first I’m glad to be back to this format. I had been posting on the Substack platform for awhile, but find my trusty old blog right here feels more like home. My Substack posts are still there if you’re interested in taking a look. Or perhaps you followed me there and now you're here. 

At any rate, I just reread my last post here, written right after my beloved husband passed, and of course now there are tears running down my cheeks as I relive those last days. I’ve been learning a lot about grief since then and what I’ve learned is that it can’t be learned (insert chuckle). It has to be felt, over and over and over. The tears have to flow again and again and again. And you need to realize one sure thing: no one can feel the pain you feel. No. one.

But I have done a few things that have helped me along the way. I joined a grief support group at my church where there are others who let you know you’re not alone; I talk to my family and my dear friends and find them always ready to listen; and lastly, I have become involved in volunteering at my church. I assist in the office, help with special projects and produce their monthly newsletter. This has changed my life in such a positive way as I move into a new and different direction without my life’s mate. I have a new purpose, can dust off old skills and feel useful and appreciated. I am grateful for that.

I know people, perhaps you, too, struggle with what to say to a person grieving. I guess my advice is not to be at all reluctant to talk about the deceased, say their name, tell stories and share remembrances. Don’t hesitate for a moment to do this—it’s not awkward as you might think, but affirms that your loved one is remembered, that their life mattered. If you are part of a couple, please don’t forget to include us widows and widowers in your plans. We are feeling alone and missing those times together with you as couples.

And this…was not at all what I had intended to write today but it seems to have taken on a life of its own.

I’ll close with a portion of the lyrics to a song I listen to very often at night. It is both comforting and affirming to me. 

In the Morning

Song by JJ Heller

I see the tears sitting on your cheeks
I know you're tired, fall now to sleep
Stop fighting so hard, it's time to surrender
Raise your white flag and always remember

Your heart will feel lighter
Everything will be brighter
Find peace in knowing
That all will be well in the morning
In the morning
All will be well
All will be well in the morning

It's been a long day, and you did your best
Let go of the past, it's time now to rest
The weight of the world is getting too heavy
Give it to Jesus, His arms are steady. 

And your heart will feel lighter
Everything will be brighter
Find peace in knowing
That all will be well in the morning,
All will be well in the morning.

As always, thank you for visiting today and letting me share my random thoughts.