So today I’ll try to stay on task and post a few updates about my new life as a single (widow—but I hate that word). Much has changed and I have been doing my best to adjust to my “new normal.” I didn’t ask for it, I don’t always like it, but here I am.
Making lemonade out of lemons. 🍋 Or trying to.
When you lose a spouse, and after the initial shock, the funeral, burial or whatever you choose, a whole array of new decisions or possibilities present themselves. Ones I certainly never had to consider before, and certainly not by myself. Am I now financially secure? Can I continue my health insurance under my husband’s plan? Should I keep or sell our Arizona home? How do I decide which of our two vehicles to keep and how do I go about selling the other one? Should I remain in our North Lindstrom lake condo or try to find someplace that might better fit my own needs?
Not to mention the admonition to not make any major decisions for a year. So, what, does that mean I do nothing and keep everything as is for a whole year? That doesn’t work for me, a take-charge person. So I started tackling those decisions one by one.
1. Since the time was approaching for me to leave for our winter home in Arizona, I decided that—by myself—I wouldn’t be able to maintain nor could I afford two residences. Sad as it seemed to leave our wonderful seasonal neighbors, the thought of being there where we shared so much enjoyment together helped inform the decision to sell it. And it sold to the first person to look at it and the price was satisfactory.
2. My health insurance was fine for the time being and I would take the time to research other options.
3. My financial situation was adequate. Never rich, neither was I poor and I could cover routine expenses.
4. I didn’t need two vehicles. I kept the newer, better quality of the two and sold the other.
5. Now for the big decision. I chose to—praying and holding my breath that this was right—sell the Lindstrom condo. Again, it sold quickly and I was satisfied with the price. I bought a 2-bedroom unit in a cooperative in nearby Chisago City, a mere two miles away. It offered all that was right for my needs with no maintenance, heated underground parking, an exercise room, a community room for gatherings, a large deck overlooking woods and beautiful grounds on a quiet street.
The decision was the easy part. Moving, choosing some new furnishings, a major update of the kitchen, packing and unpacking that seemed to go on forever and ever, made for a busy summer. I could in no way have done any of this without many hours of help from my two kids, granddaughters and sister. Without them, I likely would still be frozen in place.
That catches you up a bit to present day. I am doing quite well (most days), feeling strong and confident in my decisions without my beloved, living each day with gratitude and looking forward to the next new day. Still lots of tears, sweet remembrances and some loneliness, but everything always looks better in the morning.
A closing thought to remember:
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As always, thanks for visiting and listening to my random thoughts.
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