Like them or don’t like them, you have to agree they’re more often than not a nuisance. My dad hated them. He took it as a personal affront when they so much as crossed the yard. He’d see them from the window in the den, cross over to the patio door window and pound on the glass, yelling “Those doggone squirrels!”
Of course, the doggone squirrels paid him no mind and went on doing whatever squirrels do. Dig holes. Chase each other. Climb bird feeders. Hang upside down to get every bit of seed.
In our own yard, I’ve witnessed their gymnastics climbing bird feeders that resemble armored cars, supposedly sealed so only a bird could possibly get into the seeds. Duct tape, slippery poles, slanted roofs. The squirrels just scoff.
Especially insulting is when I’ve pounded on the window, not yelling as my dad did, but just to get their attention and scare them (yeah, right). Well, I do get their attention and I know this from the way they at least momentarily stop eating, if that’s what they’re doing, and look at me. Whereupon they resume their greedy munching. Of our bird seed.
But the latest last straw was when they chewed through and devoured every last bit, from the outer skin to the flesh, of not one, not two, but three of the large pumpkins we bought to create what was to be a picturesque autumn scene in our garden and on the front entry steps.
The first ones to go were the small ones which they simply knocked off the bench and devoured. They then ate their way through the thick shell of the larger ones, sticking their entire heads inside and feasting on every last bit of the innards. I had to laugh at the sight of a squirrel with its head completely inside the pumpkin, the only visible thing being its furry tail sticking out. I resisted the urge to pound on the window.
In doing a bit of research 🧐 (using the term loosely), I discovered that squirrels actually have some pretty amazing instincts coupled with logic and memory. When they’re not pilfering our bird seed, they forage for nuts and acorns in a systematic fashion, knowing when certain trees produce and which are the early ones for collecting winter food. I thought they just busied themselves digging holes in our yard to bury their nuts for later feasts, but it turns out they have all kinds of hiding places inside tree hollows.
They have a keen sense of smell and rely on memory (imagine that) to find all their hiding places when winter hunger pangs hit. My research, ala Google, also informs me squirrels are great at thievery with their belief that it makes no sense to deplete your own stash when you can steal from another’s. And they’re particularly cagey as they often fake hiding a nut while keeping it in its mouth, thus “fooling” any of their own watching and plotting their own thievery.
Some people, I further learned, love these little critters and treat them almost as pets, feeding them, naming them, etc. Even talking to them.
Well, not me.
I don’t mean to offend any squirrel lovers out there, and I don’t mean squirrels any harm, but I still think of them as those doggone squirrels!
Thank you for reading my sometimes ridiculous thoughts.
